False Beliefs About Love i do think this is an article that many of us shld give it some tot.. =)
Article credit to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.
In the last programme, we talked about how commonly-held false beliefs in love fool us into thinking that in order to win in the mating game, one has to be good-looking, rich, popular or clever. In this programme, let's go into the many other false beliefs about love that bring us much insecurity, discontentment, loneliness, and heartache.
First, the belief that "I'm not good enough to be loved." Here, our low sense of self-worth makes us behave in two possible ways - firstly, it can make us settle for something that we're not passionate about, simply because we think there is nothing better for us out there. It can also cause us to accept mistreatment and abuse from our partners.
And second, this can cause us to wreck perfectly tenable relationships through our insecurity, over-sensitiveness and jealousy. We literally chase our lovers away because we feel we're not good enough for them.
Next, the belief that "I'm not going to be able to get over an ex-partner". Now I'm not underestimating the pain of a breakup, but people who indulge this belief usually focus on the past instead of looking to the future. They replay good times, convinced that they have lost the love of their lives and they will never find happiness again. So they board up their hearts, spend their days reminiscing and moping, and get into all sorts of addictions just to artificially feel better. Again, this is "playing the victim", placing the responsibility for the pain on your ex and the past, while not reaching out for happiness yourself. This sort of protracted grieving also elicits sympathy from friends and relatives and may convince some of them that since you're hurting so much for so long, then you must've been damaged pretty bad. This kind of behaviour can become almost impossible to stop.
Next is the belief that "I will not be happy, I will not be success until I find the love of my life". If you believe this, you're ignoring the other joys of life like family, friends, nature, and pursuing your passions and ambitions. You are not a "half" of a whole, doomed to drift around broken and incomplete until you find your other half. You are a whole and full person in your own right. Besides, if you believe that you have to be in a relationship to be considered a success, it's likely you'll slide into casual relationships without careful thought or genuine emotion.
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