A Happy Marriage
Credit it to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.
So you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.And you've decided to get married. There's no manual for a happy marriage, but you have a pretty good feeling that your love will help you weather the storms all relationships inevitably go through. In addition to that, here are some things to remember for a happy and healthy marriage.
1. It starts with you
The happier you are with yourself and your life, the more attractive you are to your partner. Another way to look at this is: if you were someone else, would you marry you? Start today to work on being the kind of person you would want to know, date, and marry. If you're not that kind of person, how can you expect your spouse to stay attracted or stay passionate?
2. There's you, there's him/her, and then there's we.
You don't have to give up your identity or be known as your spouse's partner.
It also doesn't work when two people each do their own thing without regard to their partner's wishes and feelings. Marriage is, and should be, more than cohabitation. As the marriage vows state, "two shall be as one". That "one" is neither you nor him. The "one" is a third entity: the relationship, the marriage, the "we".
The "we" is what you share, what you have in common, the nurturing that cannot be provided on your own. Think companionship, intimacy, and sharing.
3. Leave behind your emotional baggage
Are you really over your previous relationship? If not, you can't fully commit to your spouse. Likewise, if you are still Daddy's little girl or Mommy's boy, you are not in control of your own life. Therefore, you cannot fully enter into an adult relationship of mutual sharing and support. You can't be accountable to your spouse if you have to keep pleasing Mommy or Daddy.
4. Your marriage comes first
Marriage is the strongest bond between two people. Parents are here and one day they are gone. Children grow into adults and leave to start their own lives. Your spouse is the only person who is meant to stay with you the rest of your time on this planet. Women who say their children come first are usually unable to let their children grow up and become independent adults. These women are always surprised when their mates get tired of being number two, and decide to leave for someone else who WILL put them first.
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9:36 AM
my family finally saw javier.. all had fun carryin him and watching him... he is such a cute baby tt no one can resist!! well.. for one.. he is my godson! javier baby.. just cry lesser so that ur mummy can rest more k.. heee...
met up with the devils on friday.. and as usual.. i was early... i wonder y i always arrive early at every occasion... well.. almost every... we had dinner at maxwell... but surprisingly.. the four of us cant even finish 2 bowls of porridge n some tim sum.. we had so much left over k.. wonder how small our stomachs are... so it's not just me... hhaha...
reason we ate at maxwell was.. coz we wanted to head to scarlet for drinks.. after having thinking about it for close to one year... we finally made it there... as expected.. they loved the toilet!! everyone who goes there will be... n they were impressed by raymond too.. in his long coat... went up to breeze after our VISIT to the ladies.. breeze is the rooftop al fresco dining place.. however we were too full by den.. so only had drinks... biggest surprise of the nite was that some of the breeze staff still recognised me!! i of coz remember them.. but being the invisible person of all times.. i hardly expected them to remember me.. but ya.. they did.. well.. that made my dae.. however.. from wad i heard.. scarlet is now all different from my time... which is looooooong ago... but now.. im only back as a diner.. so none of my concern i guess... ooh.. n we had a discount there... i didnt ask for it.. but it was real sweet that they gave me their staff discount.. was reallie unexpected... thank you nana n nadya (i cant remember how to spell her name..)
n i met khairul n raymond too.. i bet they ar the oldest "birds" at scarlet... was glad to see them again.. n it makes me miss my job there.. well.. but nicest things are all left in the memories.. i shldnt think i will want to go through everything i did again.. haha... i shall ask angel n the rest to go back there for drinks somedae... n maybe we should visit naumi.. we might meet some old colleagues there... i wonder...
eliza was heading to a gay club after tt.. she asked if we wanted to follow to have a look... but me being me.. im nv the kind who likes to frequent these places.. so obviously i said no... but jieqi n cindy were pretty keen.. so i had no choice but to follow lor... we met eliza's eye candy n they brought us to look see.. nuthin much.. the club was actually pretty small.. pretty awkward to walk in as too many pple were starin at this bunch of gers in their terrain.. so a bit paiseh.. n didnt keep a look out for the handsome guys.. not like they will be interested or wad.. but i didnt really get a good look at them.. firstly it was too dark.. secondly they were starin at us more den we were starin at them... n khairul.. u r rite.. there's no point goin there.. no one is goin turn straight because of me! wahahaha...
oooh... n i have to mention this.. i suspect cindy gets high on little alcohol.. n maybe plus she was tired.. she was hilarious.. ask jieqi n eliza.. she was blabbering a bit.. n was laffing... well.. cindy... coke for u in future... or maybe u like earl grey like me too!! =D
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3:33 PM
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11:35 AM
Your Expectations of Your Partner
Credit it to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.
Most of us have expectations of our partner in a romantic relationship. Perhaps, you've grown up believing that lying to one's partner can never be justified. Or that a woman should always abide by her husband and is responsible for household chores. Maybe it's the belief that one should always give one's partner the priority in all arrangements. Or that if someone loves you, he or she should intuitively know your thoughts and feelings.
Society and upbringing can often instill in us misleading beliefs and values that limit our ability to develop healthy, meaningful relationships. We may subscribe to certain ideals that may not even exist in real life. We may expect our partner to miraculously grow into the person that he or she, in truth, will never be. We may linger in an abusive relationship, thinking that love means accepting our partner, no matter how violent or manipulative he or she is.
Whatever it is, expectations in relationships often lead to strife, frustration, disappointment, and sometimes, dissolution of the relationship. The termination of a relationship may not always be a negative thing; in fact, if two persons are at odds regarding expectations and mutual fulfillment, it may be better to end the relationship. But there are also many other couples who eventually choose to leave the relationship though they could've had a good chance of making it work. All because unrealistic expectations got in the way.
Think about your relationship. Is there a certain role you expect your partner to play? Is there an ideal you're hoping your partner will eventually become? Are you consistently disappointed when your partner falls short of your expectations?
Before we commit to a relationship, we have to understand that each person is an individual and comes with his or her own unique opinions, philosophies, values, quirks, and flaws. It's no different with your partner. If you go into the relationship based on what you think YOU will need from your partner, then you will very likely end up disillusioned.
A better way to assess a potential partner or to nurture an existing relationship is to commit to understanding the other person as well as you possibly can. What are her fears and insecurities? What are his opinions about money, friends of the opposite gender, children, or in-laws? What are her thoughts on honesty, charity, sexuality, or spirituality? What does he like or dislike about himself? What does she like or dislike about others?
Investing time in understanding the unique person your partner is and what he or she can or cannot fulfill is crucial to whether a relationship blossoms or dies a natural death. In the long run, it could save both you and the other person a lot of time and heartache.
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11:28 AM