Love Should Not Be Bartered
credit it to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.
You usually do what you're told or asked to, even when you really don't want to do it. You keep your grudges inside, but because you feel mistreated, you grumble, complain and have frequent bursts of anger. You feel suppressed, but just can't seem to say "no".
Does that sound like you?
If you're consistently suppressing your desires to accommodate other people's needs, even if it makes you really unhappy, perhaps you need a shift in self-perspective.
You probably feel that if you don't give in to others' requests or demands, that people will not love or accept you anymore. You believe that their "love" for you is based solely on the pre-requisite that you comply with their every wish.
People trapped in such relationships can't seem to refuse the requests of family members or friends. And their family members and friends have become so used to seeing them in the submissive role that they often think that's what makes them happy, so they leave them to it. These people also get feelings of self-worth from being the "victim", the "martyr", or the one who has to sacrifice his own needs to accommodate the desires of the people he loves. This is a false line of reasoning that he has allowed himself to believe.
But your family members and friends will just as easily love you even if you can't give in to their desires. Love does not require that you suppress your true self and happiness. Love does not need you to be dishonest about your real feelings.
True freedom is found in giving out of love and not out of fear. When we give out of fear of rejection, we are not really giving but bartering whatever we are giving in exchange for others' acceptance.
No one can respond to what others ask of them all the time. And you are just as worthy of love even when you can't accommodate the needs of others.
Is it time you allowed others to be responsible for their own reality? And for you to be responsible for your own happiness?
i blogged @
10:09 AM